After Discovering That You HAVE Lived
by but-the-clouds
Summary: What if Neil lived? Why did he live? Does Charlie still get expelled? If Neil does live, what kind of adventures will he pursue? All the answers are inside plus, a better summary! Rating may or may not change. Enjoy!


1**Discovering That You HAVE Lived**

**Summary:** Neil didn't really kill himself, Charlie didn't really get expelled, but they _are both_ missing from Wellton. The only thing that is the same is that Keating is still in danger of being fired, and the Dead Poets Society is in danger of being revealed to the faculty and to their parents. In the meantime...lets have fun as we venture with Neil and Charlie into lands unknown to them.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the Dead Poet's Society or it's characters. They all belong to Peter Weir and the "other people", but you know that already.

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Charlie was in the stall painting his chest. He was painting the Indian warrior symbol for virility, a word he came upon when he was supposed to be looking up something about _**indentured servants**_. He he took a detour to look up his current favorite subject: Indians (Native American). As he was browsing through the section, he came upon different warrior symbols and what they meant. Well, virility means masculinity and strength, and Charlie assumed the right to have the sign painted upon his own chest. Anyway, right now he was painting it on his body in long, steady strokes. He stared at the amazing boldness of the bright shade on his skin. Charlie always liked red; it amused him. Charlie's attention shifted—his attention does that often—to the guys making all the raucous as they got ready for Neil's play. He told them that he was "getting red" before he entered the stall. Boy was Nolan going to be pissed when he sees his chest—and he will. Charlie was going to make sure of it. Charlie had been planning stunt after stunt just to get out of this school. He knew all his parents wanted for him was to be like his older brothers, Adam and Christian. Both boys were more than seven years older than Charlie and happily enrolled in their father's business. Charlie wasn't going to let that happen to himself, though. He wasn't good at math, anyway, so who was his father kidding? How would he do well in the banking business, anyway? Suddenly, Charlie's thoughts were interrupted by a voice. It was the voice of his best and closest friend since second grade.

"Hey guys! Where's Charlie?" asked Neil, easing himself into the men's room.

"Getting red!" all the guys answered simultaneously.

"I'll be right out, Neil! Wait a minute!" Charlie called out as he finished up "tattooing" himself. He grimaced slightly as he suddenly remembered that he seemed to be doing the same exact thing in a dream he had last night: getting red. When he was ready, Charlie opened the stall and showed his friends his body art, who "oohed" and "awed" in response. After a few seconds of gaping at Charlie's warrior symbol, Neil spoke up.

"Charlie, you said in history class that you wanted to tell me something."

"Yeah," Charlie replied, buttoning up his shirt.

"Well, hurry it up. I've got about," Neil glanced at his watch before continuing, "ten minutes. That means you've got five minutes to say what you have to say."

"Step outside?" Charlie suggested, nodding toward the door and already advancing toward it. Neil nodded and let Charlie pass to take the lead toward the door. When they exited the restroom they stood stiffly as well brought up rich boys do, at the stairwell.

"Neil, listen to me. I had the most real dream last night. I saw the play already, Neil. I saw _you_ as Puck. You were great, Neil. I mean, you were Puck! You dropped a prop in one scene, but other than that, you were great. You didn't miss a beat!" Charlie exclaimed, but his proud, excited expression changed to that of a sad and tired one—hey, if you have a bad dream and you wake up in the middle of the night, you're going to be tired. "Then, you're dad came. He was proud. He was so proud, but you know your dad. His anger overtook his pride. When the play was over and everyone was leaving, he half-dragged you out the door. We barely got the chance to congratulate you. You both left in his car, though we all knew you didn't want to. I was so mad at him! I mean, even in my dreams I could feel my blood boiling under my skin. You gazed at the group of us as the car rolled away. And the look you had, Neil—"

"Charlie, as interesting as this is, I gotta go."

"Neil, wait! Long story short: your father told you to forget about acting. He said he was going to take you out of Wellton and put you in some military school. It was Nolan _himself_ who woke me up when I got the news."

"Of my transfer?"

"Of your death. Of your suicide! You killed yourself, Neil."

"Well, Charlie, don't worry! I wouldn't do such a thing. Besides, my father's in Chicago. He's not going to see my—"

"Be he might come, and you_ would_, Neil! You _would_ be stupid and melodramatic and do a thing like that. Neil," Charlie whispered his name as he took Neil's collar in his fists and drew Neil close so that his mouth was next to Neil's pink ear, "I went to your funeral. I saw your white body in a casket. You had a hole in your head. Your skin was burned around it. I saw your father cry, damn it!"

Charlie released his hold of Neil's collar and backed off a bit. His breath was a little shaky and his face was red from fear and the dream that he so distinctly remembered.

"Just...just don't do that. Don't ever, EVER do anything like that. Not to me. I don't deserve that. I don't deserve to lose the only brother, well...the only real brother I ever had."

Neil was astounded by what Charlie had to say and pulled his "brother" into a hug.

"Charlie, I have to go, but I promise that I will _never_ do that. I promise you."

"You better," Charlie replied in his usual cocky tone. He pulled away from their embrace and added, "'cause you got me expelled! Let's not let that happen in the near future."

"Awe, you wanna get expelled and you know it! You've been trying for the past two years. Well, listen–I have to go, but I'll see you later, right?"

"Right."

Neil smiled and mussed up Charlie's hair before turning to leave. Neil walked toward the stairwell, but paused before descending and turned around.

"Hey, Charlie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Ever," Charlie replied with a wink. Neil smiled back than continued on his way down the stairs. Charlie started to walk back to the restroom with the guys but changed his mind and darted toward the stairs. "Hey, Neil!"

"Charlie! I have to go!" Neil groaned. Charlie met him outside the school by the time he said this.

"Just don't worry about your dad. If he decides to send you to military school and make you a doctor, I'll–_we'll_ figure out something. Besides, no one wants a doctor who doesn't want to _be_ a doctor!"

"Thanks, Charlie! Gotta go! Bye!"

"Bye!"

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Neil was pleased as his first scene went well. He remembered all his lines and never forgot any blocked action he learned in rehearsal. When he performed his third scene he got a silent applause from his fellow actors when he returned backstage. He caught a glimpse of his friends in the audience every once in a while, which made him practically bowl over with joy and pride. In his fourth scene he dropped a prop, like Charlie had said he did in his dream. Even though he thought it was probably just a coincidence he was startled and refused to take a glimpse at Charlie who he knew would be staring back at him knowingly. The audience chuckled, but Neil continued as if nothing happened—as any actor should.

It was before Neil stepped out for Act III that he was truly astonished. There, standing at the back wall, holding his jacket limply over his folded arms, was his father. He shook his head. He was supposed to be in Chicago. What was he doing here? Neil tried to ignore this realization and the strange coincidence of this reality, and Charlie's dream, and continue on with the play. He did so successfully and was rewarded by a standing ovation from the audience. He looked at Charlie, who was clapping–of course. Now, Neil didn't know if Charlie was smiling with pride in his dream, but right now he was a deadly white and wide eyed. Apparently he noticed the presence of Neil's father. Already, Neil prepared for the worst that was to come. If this was anything like Charlie's dream, he knew his father would bring him home and inform him that his dream was a waste. In doing so, he would also make him realize that his life, too, is a waste–although not intentionally. However, the difference between this reality and Charlie's dream is that in real life Neil knew he had a friend like Charlie to depend on. In his frustration and shock of his father's decision, he may have forgotten that he had a friend like Charlie to depend on. Well, he realized this know and he knew all he would have to do is tell Charlie and he would think of some crazy plan to wheedle Neil out of the muck.

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Charlie saw Neil being dragged into his car by his father just like in his dream. His dream was so vivid, even the thought of it brought goose bumps to his skin, but now that it _really _seemed like he was reliving it, he was starting to get full on nauseous. Also similar to his dream: Charlie was stupid enough to actually think he could negotiate with Mr. Perry. So, after the car sped away, Charlie asked Mr. Keating if he and the gang could walk. Mr. Keating uttered a reluctant, "yes", so Charlie ordered the group to the cave, allowing Meeks to lead the way. Every conversation made, all the minor occurrences, right down to everyone's expressions on the way to the cave, Charlie recalled from his dream. He was silent during the walk, but surprisingly no one noticed. The more he thought about the dream, the slower he walked and the more he fell behind. If he was going to break free from the all-too-familiar sequence of events, he decided he shouldn't involve the entire DPS gang. As he fell behind he realized no one took notice, so (even though slightly disappointed of the ignorance of his friends–what was he? A slab of meat?) he turned around and headed toward the Perry house, which was about an hour away on foot in the snow. Although he was almost sad that he'd miss the company of his friends and Mr. Keating at the cave (remember, Mr. Keating's arrival wasn't exactly going to be a surprise for Charlie since he dreamt it in the first place), he was much more interested in checking in on Neil.

As the distance between Charlie and the group grew, Charlie realized that this was where dream and reality began to separate. In his dream he followed the group to the cave and listened to an impressive poetic performance by Todd. From here on, nothing was familiar, and he couldn't predict what would happen next. He continued trudging through snow-filled sidewalks until he came to a town ten minutes later. In the town was a bus stop, which he sat at until a bus to Castleton rounded the corner. Charlie boarded the bus and payed the driver. The drive was fifteen miserable minutes long, but Charlie thought Neil was lucky to live so close to the school. It was only less than half an hour away by road (maybe longer when the roads are icy), and he could go home on weekends if he really needed or wanted to. Knox lived forty-five minutes away from the school, and Meeks and Pitts, friends since before seeing the light, lived next door to each other twenty-five minutes from Wellton. Cameron lived an hour-and-a-half away. Charlie's family resided all the way in NYC. See why his family is so rich? To own a bank in the busiest and most expensive city in the country will make you very successful. Charlie's father would prefer not to deal with Charlie so he sent him to a boarding school five-and-a-half (maybe more) hours from home. If he needed the care of his mother, or advice from his dependable brother Adam, it was only a staticky phone call away. Oh, I feel loved, Charlie thought as he was reminded by these facts. At least Neil's father loved him. He noticed how Mr. Perry often took joy in seeing Neil smile. Why was being in this play so different from all the other things that made Neil happy? Simple! It affected his future, and Mr. Perry had his future planned out for him. He just wanted to let his son have the opportunities he never could have. Charlie understood this. What Charlie couldn't understand was the intentions of his own father. Why did he care whether or not he followed the family business?

Anyway, Charlie rode the bus to Castleton for fifteen minutes before the bus came to a stop, and he had to walk another two or three blocks to Neil's house. Even after one block Charlie could feel Jack Frost's nip at his ears, and the circulation was beginning to dissipate in his feet. This was why Charlie hated the cold, sometimes. He always had very poor circulation in his feet. They would tingle, then grow numb and turn yellow and white. He nicknamed this process, "dead feet".

When he arrived in front of the Perry's beautiful yellow Victorian, he paused. Should he ring the bell? No. Why cause trouble with Mr. Perry? Instead, Charlie walked around to where he knew Neil's bedroom window would be. Charlie remembered where each room was because he spent the summer at the Perry's once. His family took a vacation in France for their second honeymoon, and each Dalton son was practically scattered across the country. Adam was in California with a friend for the summer. Christian was in Texas where he eventually would meet who was now his fiancé.

Anyway, Charlie spent the summer with the Perrys and he could remember each charming room in the house. So, remembering the location of Neil's room, Charlie stopped in front of Neil's window, two stories up, and picked up a little pebble. It was the size of a half-dollar, but Charlie returned it to the earth anyway, afraid it would break the glass. He picked up a slightly smaller one and decided to throw that instead. He threw the rock at the window, and–thank God and all His glory–Neil heard it. Neil slid the window open. Though he was wearing Puck's jolly crown he looked sad and distressed. When he recognized Charlie his expression changed into that of confusion.

"Dalton? Is that you?" Neil asked, sticking his head out the window.

"Yeah, it's me, Neil! Go inside! I'm climbing up!" Charlie shouted, already progressing towards the vines that grew on the side of Neil's house. Charlie was always climbing things as a kid, so climbing these vines was a synch. Neil watched on, amused. The kid was like a monkey! When Charlie finally reached Neil's window he held out his hand for Neil to take and help him in. By the time Charlie finally stumbled into Neil's room, he was a bit breathless and wiped out from his little adventure. Boy was it a busy day! He spun around once, then collapsed dramatically onto Neil's bed.

"You were right, Charlie," Neil said, taking a seat beside him on his desk chair.

"About what?" Sometimes Charlie can be a little absent minded when he's tired.

"Your dream was right. My father is taking me out of Wellton and putting me in Brighton Military Academy. I'm going to be a doc–"

"Hey, Neil!" Charlie interrupted wit ha cheerful tone. He continued after taking a cigarette from his pocket and sticking it in his mouth, saying, "Do you know what I always wanted to do?"

"What?" asked Neil, annoyed at Charlie's irrelevant question.

"I always wanted to see the world. What d'ya say?"

"What?!"

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If you have any comments, concerns, complaints, suggestions on the storyline (where you want the story to go–I'm totally into interactive story telling) review and let me know!

Be patient on the next chapter. I always end up promising that "the next chapter will come soon" but that's not always guaranteed.

Thanks for taking the time to read!!!


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